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kuro_neko_kamekaze
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Name: JD
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Long Beach
Gender: Female
Interests: My lovely husband, Anthony, is my number one interest!!!! I also take interest in how this complicated chaotic world and life functions.
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
9/22/2005
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| I think I am better off keeping my thoughts and issues to myself. So I will not be blogging anymore in the future. Good-bye Xanga!
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| Friday; November 9, 2007: My second day of work was from 4pm to 10:30 pm and it was somewhat horrible. I was doing cash register for my first time, and I kept on pausing the customers because they were being so complicated. How am I suppose to know there was a specific sale for a specific item? How am I suppose to know that there were coupon pieces from McDonald's Monopoly? There are many many functions that I haven't mastered or learned yet about cash registering. I was better off in the video game section from the first day of work. I brought chicken chow mein for potluck but didn't eat anything. All I had to last me for the entire day was a sardine sandwich and a can of low-carb Monster. I made some new friends! I ended up staying until 11 pm just to help clean up. I also received my paycheck. I didn't get home until 11:30 pm.
Saturday; November 10, 2007: I hung out with Anthony at his house. It was pretty much a chill day. Same old routine. What's different are that I took my first nap next to him, climbed a tree by myself with no ladder, and played Around the World with Crystal. I also wore a dress instead of the usual baggy or tight pants. I also saw their rooster for the first time.
Sunday; November 11, 2007: I get to visit Ma Wan pretty soon. Then see Ma Mai, Cousin Erlinda, and the three little girls...Lindsay, Amy, and Brittney. I should be studying for my 2nd exam for Women's Health, but I'm a procrastinator.
Random Thoughts
- Yesterday made me open my eyes to a different perspective. It felt like a bad thing.
- I thank Jr. for giving me rides.
- Some of the people I made friends with at work are cool! I wouldn't mind hanging out with them for a day.
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| Tuesday; November 6, 2007: In women's health class, we went over nutritional information. In Japanese class, we wasted time in the computer lab and learned something in class. I don't remember what we learned because I was doodling on a yellow piece of scrap paper. Oh yeah, Seyhak recorded Bille dancing. Sooo cute!!! Anyways, I started working on a sample hat.
Wednesday; November 7, 2007: I started my first day of work from 10:30 am to 6 pm. I was kind of nervous and excited at the same time. I spent most of my day in the electronic/video game area, and hung out with five different people. They taught me a lot of stuff. When work was over, I decided to browse around the store. I was hoping to talk to my hun at night but I only got to talk to him for less than a minute. I really miss him.
Thursday; November 8, 2007: In women's health class, our teacher let us watch Super Size Me. That was a really interesting documentary on McDonald's. In Japanese class, we had an oral presentation and review session. Ricky, Seyhak, and I left class early. We went to the Lakewood mall. Then we stopped by at Poly High. I was hoping to see Evelyn, Moemi, and a few others but I didn't see them. So I went to visit Keiko-Sensei. When I came home, I just chat online and on the phone for awhile. Then I took a nap. Kimy and Esmond made a good dinner. I had mac n' cheese, rice, beef with bahok, hot dog links, and Brisk ice tea. Then mom made me tag along with her to Shell gas station and Vons. Then I went back to sleep.
Random Thoughts
- I haven't seen my hun for almost four weeks already. If I don't get to see him this Saturday, it's going to be five weeks that I haven't get to hang out with him. I really really miss him.
- My left bruise is healing faster than my right bruise.
- OMG, there's a really cute nice tall guy at work. haha he makes me feel tiny.
- Today is potluck day. I have work from 4 to 10:30 pm. I should be home by 11 pm.
- I like napping. It stops my hunger, my depressed thoughts, and my angry thoughts. It also kills time and let my body rest.
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| I'm sorry for letting my anger and sorrow spill in Xanga. Those feelings were suppose to be blogged in my other web journal...
Tuesday; October 30, 2007: I was emotionally and physically sick. My self-esteem was so low that I didn't want to eat anything, and all the crying left me nauseated. I had the worst headache ever! Aspirin never worked. Mom coined my back and I still had a major headache. Each time I ate, I had to vomit. I wanted to kill myself but I couldn't. I just closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep just to forget the pain. Mom thought I was sick from a flu or cold but that wasn't the reason.
Wednesday; October 31, 2007: My first orientation at Toys R' Us was from 10 am to 2 pm but we ended up finishing at 2:30 pm. Our trainer was Margie. She's super cool to the max! We filled out forms and played a scavenger hunt just to get to know the place. When I got home, I was suppose to study for my HIV & STD quiz but my mind was at unease. Kimy asked me if I wanted to go trick-or-treating, but I decided to stay home because 1) I didn't have a costume, and 2) I was depressed and frustrated. Then at night, I had my problem somewhat fixed, and I felt a little better.
Thursday; November 1, 2007: I got to LBCC thirty minutes early on my own. I was the first person seated in my Women's Health class. The HIV & STD quiz was pretty easy. I decided to skip Japanese class just to go to my second day of orientation at Toys R' Us. From 10 am to 2pm, we did some role playing and some walk-through of the tasks.
Friday; November 2, 2007: Cousin Prescott finally arrived at night. He was super tired because he came from San Francisco to Long Beach with his friend, David, by car. Esmond, Kimy, Prescott, and I went to Pho Saigon to eat dinner. A regular bowl of beef steak pho, two small bowls of dessert, and a tall glass of water became my first meal of the day. My activities all day consisted of computer, napping, and cleaning. At night, I got frustrated. I didn't want to argue because it was pointless.
Saturday; November 3, 2007: I went to the K-1 go-cart racing at Irvine with Esmond, Kimy, Prescott, and Kyle. The minimum height to drive was 5'1" and I was two inch short. Kimy forced me to go at least once for the experience. I had to lean a bit just to reach the foot pedal. I hit the curb like at the 5th or 6th lap because I went to fast. Then cousin Prescott hit my go-cart from the side and caused my legs to hit the metal bar, and now I got hardcore bruises on both my inner thighs. They hurt a lot when I walk or sit in a certain way. Anyways, we went to eat at Brodard, and I had a banh xeo. After that, we went to Target. I bought me a new hat from the infant section. It's a shape of a puppy head. At night, I helped mom put up the curtains. Now I got nice green curtains in my bedroom.
Sunday; November 4, 2007: I was in a really bad mood in the morning. I felt bad for releasing some of my anger on Kyle. I cried to myself in the car. Mom, Esmond, Kimy, Kyle, Prescott, Tuong, Steph, and I went to eat dim sum at Seafood Palace in Cerritos. I saw Nancy and Daniel. I also saw Robert De Leon, but I don't think he saw me. Then we went to 99 Ranch Market. I was freezing, but the puppy beanie kept my head warm. By 4pm, Prescott had to leave and go back home. We all said goodbye and hugged him. Then mom and I went to Joann Fabric Store in Lakewood. I got me some furry black cloth just to make me a black cat hat. Muwahahahah! At night, I coined mom's back and folded the clothes. Then I played Ace Attorney on Nintendo DS before going to bed.
Monday; November 5, 2007: I browsed for some comedy videos on Youtube. Tuong made me fill out the admission application online for LBCC for Spring 2008.
Random Thoughts:
- I thank cousin Cathy for talking to me and giving me advice. She's like the best cousin on my mom's side!!! I don't know the others so well.
- I haven't been eating much for the past week. Everything just didn't taste so good. So I lost three pounds.
- I had to cut someone out of my life because they created problems for my relationship.
- I got work this Wednesday and Friday at Toys R' Us.
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| My insides feel like crap. I've been wondering all day whether I should wait things out or talk it out. All these "what if's" has been running through my mind since yesterday. Part of my body was aching, and I didn't know what to do since yesterday. Why can't I stop crying? I feel like killing myself so no one would have to deal with my shit. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.....
Random Thoughts
- The job interview went well. I just have to wait for my background check results. If it's clean, I'm hired.
- I just want to mutilate myself.
- I'm tired of getting headaches.
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